Guitarists And Their Gear

Are you a "corksniffer"???

If you're unfamiliar with the term, allow me to explain: it is likely a term appropriated from the wine enthusiast community, as in someone who sniffs the cork of a just-opened bottle of wine in order to fully appreciate it, to check its quality, experience the "nose" of it, etc.

But, guitarists use it more as a derogatory term, as in someone who can only use brand "x", often solely based on what he/she thinks other guitarists would likely respond to favorably. In my experience, most of the "corksniffer" types don't rate much as players, in the long run. Harsh? Maybe. I, however, have a sneaking suspicion that it's an excuse to simply not practice, to fault their gear for any lack of ability, or ultimately admit that they don't have the goods as a player.

You can hate me for saying that if you need to. S'okay.

But, I will retort with the following: "Do you think you NEED it in order to be a good player?". I think we'd all answer that with a qualified NO. You don't need it, you WANT it -- huge difference. I mean, sure, we all like nice gear, and there is typically a minimum acceptable level of playability that we demand and expect. But, I'll admit to having just as many really cheap guitars as I do nice ones. Some are suitable for gigs, some aren't.

I like to gig with them once in a while, though, just for shits and giggles. The guitarists in the room smirk, point, and guffaw. I smile and keep on playing. Because I'm playing to the 99% of the audience that AREN'T guitarists. The folks who don't care about your gear, just the way you make music with it. Besides, I have a tough time justifying the cost benefit of bleeding-edge high-end gear. My stuff is good, and it all works well for me. If it didn't, I wouldn't use it. I care not a whit what name is on the headstock/pedal/amp. Does it work? Is it reliable? Does it do what I need it to do?

If the answer is YES to all of those, then just play!

Singers And Their Giant Ego's

WHAT?!?!? Singers have giant ego's????

Yeah, yeah, I know -- old news. It's still amazing to occasionally fall into the wake of one (or many) of these fabulous performers.

It's not like I play in a goddamn 50-piece orchestra, so there really aren't very many names to learn of your fellow stage performers.

And before you cry, "Sour grapes!", please know that I don't want to be "out front" and am perfectly happy standing in the back playing my guitar in the dark. Really. I don't need or want the kind of attention the singers get. Alright, here are a few examples of things that have actually happened to me on the road.

We were playing this one rock tune (with a prominent guitar solo in the middle). Weeks into the tour, the singer wanted to recognize that I came downstage to play it every night, and would say, "[insert name here] on lead guitar!"...Thanks for that. The only problem?

She didn't know my name.

We're standing together in the wings before going out to play this song, and she says to me, "How do you pronounce your last name again?"...Now, let me tell you -- my name couldn't be easier to remember, and there's only one way to pronounce it.

Now, I could have simply answered the question, but this wasn't opening night here, folks -- not even close. I replied, "Really? It's [insert my really easy last name here]". She turns pale and tries to confess that she thought there was an alternate way to pronounce it. "Nice try", I say.

After being on the road with people for reasonable stretches of time, getting your luggage off the carousel at the airport and a singer asking your last name so they can put your number in their phone -- that's happened to me many times.

[sigh] All of this, however, doesn't make me think that they're bad people. They're just so wrapped up in their own shit. Maybe they have to be, I dunno, but I tend to think of it as a team effort.

If you only work with, say, eight to ten people, do you learn their names? Of course you do. It's really not that hard, and it's basic, boilerplate manners. "Hey, [insert name of co-worker here], you dropped your wallet!"....Now what if I'd dropped my wallet a lot? The singers would be unable to help me.

Scope Creep

"I hired you to do 'x', but since you're right next to it, could use also do 'y'? Since you're at 'y', can you also just add 'z' to your list of duties?"

This is what as known as "scope creep" -- simply put, when your scope of work is slowly expanded by your employer or customer incrementally, but without an increase in pay. In some cases, this is a conscious and deliberate attempt to add more value to their expenditure without adding additional cost. It's an unscrupulous and unfair business practice that is increasingly becoming the norm. Stop it, ya cheap bastards --- you know who you are!

I've worked in the corporate world -- I've seen it happen a lot there. But, I see it in music productions, too. In fact, I'm living it right now. I get hired to play the guitar. But, I also sing well. And I know how to run a band, as well as play other instruments, although I don't really advertise any of that, unless I'm specifically asked. It's hard to be in a production for any period of time without that sort of thing getting out, though. If you are also a singer, though, sometimes you open your mouth long enough for something musical to come out. 

Try to avoid that at all costs. 

Unless, of course, you want scope creep to...[ahem]...creep (sorry!) into your work. Now, I'm stuck singing backing vocals on half the show (for no additional pay, natch). Then it's "Oh hey, I figured you wouldn't mind singing lead on this song..."

[Me] "Um....ok..."

"Hey, that sounds great, here's 2 more for you to sing lead on..."

[Me] "Um....ok..."

More pay? Nope. Now, of course, I could say something to the effect of, "Ya know, you're really only paying me to play the guitar, ya cheap bastard!"....There's one problem with that, though: will they remember that the next time they hire a guitarist -- are you someone that provides more value to the client??? Maybe, maybe not. Are you willing to take the risk and lose a plum gig for your principles? 

Principles, schminciples -- I gotta eat!

"Hey, since you know this material better than anyone on the gig, can you be Associate Musical Director?"...that means when anyone else in the cast has questions about the arrangements or the new key or whatever, they can come to me and ask for clarification, etc.

More pay?

Ohhhhhhhh, I think we both know the answer to that....

Tour Season

My touring cycle over the past few years has been typically the first 6 months of the year, and the rest is local/regional gigs. This time of year is when it gets hard, though. Not the gigs themselves, or the material, or the guitar parts. No, I'm talking about being away from my wife and kids. Is it fair to them to perpetually keep myself in a state of arrested development just so I can fulfill a childhood dream?

This is not the life of a normal adult. 

There is safety and comfort in the predictability and rote of a 9-to-5 existence (and its steady paycheck), if you can live with it. Some days I can. Some days I can't. I can't wait to get back out on the road, until I have to actually do it. Then I feel terrible for putting my family through that, especially my wife for having to pull double duty as both parents while I'm away "playing rock star".

The problem is that I've been headed on this course since I was a kid. I've prepared for it as best I could. Truth is, I'm pretty darned good at this. Not the guitar playing (yeah, I'm ok at that), but the readiness to eschew normalcy. It's been my expectation (as well as others expectations of me) as long as I can remember.

The dichotomy of "regular guy with a family and house" and "traveling musician" are hard to reconcile.

I do like waking up in my own bed and having breakfast with my family, cooking dinner in the evening and running around the yard with them in the afternoons. But I also like talking shop with my bandmates, soundchecks, playing shows, and the general camaraderie that goes with a touring production. Your fellow performers become your family, at least for a while.

So, currently, I'm packing my gear (and clothes) while vacillating between eagerness to get out there, and trepidation at leaving my family.

So, what to do?

Let me just pick up this here guitar and play a bit. I'm sure the answer will come soon enough.....or not.