Year-End Reflections

Yep, I'm going to use that hackneyed "reflecting on the past year" blah blah blah...

Wow, what a year, though. Busier than ever, made a few upward moves, career-wise (1st-call sub for a Broadway show). Played more shows and logged more flyer miles than ever before, played states that I hadn't been to before. Etcetera, ad nauseum.

So, why am I not satisfied? I still see the "next level" ahead of me, and I want to get there. Building reputation in the industry can be achingly slow. I can feel some momentum, but man.....move faster, dammit! I'm fully aware that I'm a pushy SOB, but hey -- that has gotten me pretty damn far over the years. Why stop now?

...yeah, I'm not gonna..

Trying to Get My "Letter" in Guitar

Yeah, so...sorry about the bad high school sports analogy...

Anyway, I am just now having a chance to breathe after a few weeks of career insanity (all good, luckily), and have taken another step forward (or is that upward?) in my career. I'm playing with some real heavyweights, too -- all of whom have "varsity" level gigs. I'm JV, at best, but I'm hoping to have some of that rub off on me. When guys playing keyboards, etc. are better guitarists than you -- well, you're playing with some serious contenders.

'Ambition' And Other Dirty Words

So, I am grateful for the meager/minor successes that I've achieved in my musical career. Look, I'll probably never play Madison Square Garden. I get that. But, the desire for more/greater success -- the ambition -- is a driving factor for me. Always has been.

But there's another side of that -- the other thing that fuels my need for more. My failures. And oh, there have been plenty of them. To make matters worse, I'm often confronted with them, for various reasons. It's akin to running into an ex that you don't get along with way more often than you ever thought you would. It also makes me question my own abilities -- am I good enough? Do I think I'm better than I actually am? The belief that I was great got me through the years when I thought I was far better than I actually was. And for that, I can't roll my eyes hard enough. As an adult, I realize what a stupid cocky kid I was, but at the same time, that unwavering belief in my ability (real or not) got me far.

Suffice to say that what I'm doing is simply not enough. 

I need to get it to the next level. Hey, I'm human, and although I'm glad that friends of mine are more successful/have better gigs/make more money than me, it can be difficult to accept that I'm not at that level. Hey, I'm human, I'm not immune to being (ocasionally) slightly envious.

Someone said to me the other day, "Hey -- you're living the dream!", but the dream is bigger than what I'm living. Right or wrong, I can't help but dream a little bigger every day.

How To Stay Healthy On The Road (aka "The Gross Right Hand" Phenomenon)

Still trying to figure this one out, quite frankly. I've spent a lot of time on the road this fall, and I've been home for a little over a week now. I've been ever-so-slightly under the weather since September. With as much flying as I do, I am often keeping weird hours (due to the need to get to the airport at the ass-crack of dawn, very often), so sleep is a real issue. I guess I'm sensitive when it comes to that, because the wrong bed/pillows in a hotel, being too close to the lobby/elevators, etc. can ruin your sleep, especially when you really need it the most. Sometimes I have trouble sleeping because I don't want to be late to the airport and possibly miss my flight.

So, that's one thing...

The other thing is eating healthy on the road. Also very difficult. It's too easy to get to fast food, for one thing. It can be difficult to find good food, much less something that is remotely healthy. Try eating breakfast at the hotel breakfast area. They're often the same wherever you go, and rarely good (or healthy). Now, I'm no health-food freak -- honestly! I love what would be considered "really bad food". But you just can't do that too often. It takes a concerted effort to avoid it. And then, there's the expense of eating properly. Quality food ain't cheap, and my per diem only goes so far. And don't get me started on airport food - mediocre eats at 4 times the price!

And then there are the germs...

They're everywhere! The uber to the airport? You don't know who/what was in that car before you. Commercial flights? Gross. After-show meet n' greets? Shaking hands with all sorts of nice people who didn't wash their hands after using the restroom? Hey, they're out there! You try not to use your right hand for anything until you can wash it off after, but that's difficult to do sometimes.

When I first got into "the music biz", I wondered why many of the folks I'd met/worked with prefer to hug you hello. Maybe the "gross right hand" phenomenon is the reason why! I wasn't much of a casual hugger before, but I am now!!!

...and I still can't stay healthy.

When the Universe Tells You Something, You'd Better Listen!

It's been pointed out to me that I haven't updated this blog in quite some time -- about a year, in fact! Sorry about that! Man, a lot can happen in a year. Where to begin...

When I last posted, I was looking for new opportunities (what musician isn't?). Luckily, over the summer, I got a cold call from a composer that I didn't know, who had just worked with a director that we'd both worked with on separate occasions. As it often goes for me, lo these past several years, he needed "a rock player that can read". And that, ladies and gents, is my calling card -- the rock guy who can read. Most of my work these days comes from musical theater people who want authentic rock playing. You'd be surprised at how many musical theater guitarists just don't have the right feel, or can't come to grips with certain styles of rock playing, or the ability to nail a specific tone.

So, I added this guy to my roster of employers, and as of summer 2016 could count 3 or 4 different companies that were hiring me regularly.

And, then, in November of 2016...

IT. ALL. STOPPED....

[Cue sound of crickets]

I had nothing. Not a single gig on my schedule. Everything dried up, all at once. "Oh, crap!", I said to myself. "Is this it? Is this the end?". Let's face it, folks, almost every musician reaches a point where it must end, at least as a profession. Well, I wasn't ready to go quietly. I'd been working with enough Broadway pit players to learn a little something about that game, which is somewhat different than what I've been doing. It's a small, tight circle that is incredibly difficult to break into. And, you have to be in the musicians union to get that work.

So, I joined the union and sent out cold emails to 5 pit players in shows and asked about being a sub. One got back to me immediately and asked me to meet him at a gig he was playing. So, I arrived there to see a few folding chairs set up on the floor of this place, with a few set up opposite for the "audience". I take a seat right in front (there were only about 7 or 8 chairs, anyway, so it was easy to sit in front). Knee to knee with him (and Oz Noy, actually. Both amazing). I didn't approach him until after their first set, and introduced myself. He offered me a spot on his sub list, and sent me the book [the score for his instrument(s)] the next day.

And just like that, I'm a sub in one of the most popular shows on Broadway. 

So, I've been 'shedding this harder than I've ever 'shedded anything, ever, because there's a LOT riding on this. It also happens to be the hardest guitar book on Broadway (although I didn't know it at the time), and it's 5 different instruments (often 3 in the same piece of music). Definitely a challenge, but also the kind of challenge I enjoy. And, let's face it -- definitely a step up for my resume'! While I know the guy who's "chair" it is has no intention of leaving, he gets calls for some amazing gigs that he often turns down. The goal, then, is to be the recommendation, as in: "I can't do it, but I know someone who can...". He's turned down some pretty amazing gig offers, too.

Since then, I've done a nearly month long tour, and I'm booked for fly-date weekends for the next 2 months straight. That is not including the pit sub gig!

A few months ago, I thought I was done. The universe had other plans for me, obviously, and I got another half a year of work out of it. I don't know how this happens, but I'm riding this wave as long as I can. Stay tuned. Maybe I'll still be working in another few months! Gotta go. Catching a plane to Detroit soon....

Following My Own Advice

Peaks and valleys. Highs and lows. Feast or famine. Ups and downs.

Unlike many careers, being a musician is subject to that at all times.

As I sit here writing this post, I find myself in -- you guessed it -- the "valley/low/famine/down" of my career at the present time. I recently got back from being on the road to a [cough] light calendar. So, I'm back to hustling for work. Which is hard. Lately, I find myself spending a lot of time at a particular NY club to (re)make connections. Which takes a lot of time for possibly very little payoff. And, I see lots of other musicians doing the same thing as me, at the same club, at the same time.

Sure, I have some things on the horizon, maybe. But, everything is a maybe in this industry. You can get and/or lose gigs for no reason at all. Things can change in a day, but you can never count on that happening.

Friends of mine have had to go out and get day jobs. I'm currently looking for one, myself (hey -- I got a family to feed!). This is the reality of being a musician. When things get light, you start to question your career choices. I know I do!

"Are you going to push your kids into music?"

I get asked that question often. The answer is "HELL NO". While I would never prevent them from doing it if they so chose, I don't recommend this kind of life on anyone. I'd rather they be accountants or school teachers or anything that provides steady work, a steady paycheck, benefits, and a pension.

So, here I am -- trying to figure out what I can do, what new niche I can carve out for myself that still involves music and hopefully actually playing the guitar.

I have some ideas.

I'll let you know if they pan out.....

How To Contact Me...

After getting some comments on my blog, I realized I didn't have any way of letting you folks contact me!

Well, now I do. Brand spanking new "Contact" form on the sidebar. Give it a try, if you wish.

Prepping for an upcoming tour. Stay tuned for details and anecdotes, natch.

Guitarists And Their Gear

Are you a "corksniffer"???

If you're unfamiliar with the term, allow me to explain: it is likely a term appropriated from the wine enthusiast community, as in someone who sniffs the cork of a just-opened bottle of wine in order to fully appreciate it, to check its quality, experience the "nose" of it, etc.

But, guitarists use it more as a derogatory term, as in someone who can only use brand "x", often solely based on what he/she thinks other guitarists would likely respond to favorably. In my experience, most of the "corksniffer" types don't rate much as players, in the long run. Harsh? Maybe. I, however, have a sneaking suspicion that it's an excuse to simply not practice, to fault their gear for any lack of ability, or ultimately admit that they don't have the goods as a player.

You can hate me for saying that if you need to. S'okay.

But, I will retort with the following: "Do you think you NEED it in order to be a good player?". I think we'd all answer that with a qualified NO. You don't need it, you WANT it -- huge difference. I mean, sure, we all like nice gear, and there is typically a minimum acceptable level of playability that we demand and expect. But, I'll admit to having just as many really cheap guitars as I do nice ones. Some are suitable for gigs, some aren't.

I like to gig with them once in a while, though, just for shits and giggles. The guitarists in the room smirk, point, and guffaw. I smile and keep on playing. Because I'm playing to the 99% of the audience that AREN'T guitarists. The folks who don't care about your gear, just the way you make music with it. Besides, I have a tough time justifying the cost benefit of bleeding-edge high-end gear. My stuff is good, and it all works well for me. If it didn't, I wouldn't use it. I care not a whit what name is on the headstock/pedal/amp. Does it work? Is it reliable? Does it do what I need it to do?

If the answer is YES to all of those, then just play!

Singers And Their Giant Ego's

WHAT?!?!? Singers have giant ego's????

Yeah, yeah, I know -- old news. It's still amazing to occasionally fall into the wake of one (or many) of these fabulous performers.

It's not like I play in a goddamn 50-piece orchestra, so there really aren't very many names to learn of your fellow stage performers.

And before you cry, "Sour grapes!", please know that I don't want to be "out front" and am perfectly happy standing in the back playing my guitar in the dark. Really. I don't need or want the kind of attention the singers get. Alright, here are a few examples of things that have actually happened to me on the road.

We were playing this one rock tune (with a prominent guitar solo in the middle). Weeks into the tour, the singer wanted to recognize that I came downstage to play it every night, and would say, "[insert name here] on lead guitar!"...Thanks for that. The only problem?

She didn't know my name.

We're standing together in the wings before going out to play this song, and she says to me, "How do you pronounce your last name again?"...Now, let me tell you -- my name couldn't be easier to remember, and there's only one way to pronounce it.

Now, I could have simply answered the question, but this wasn't opening night here, folks -- not even close. I replied, "Really? It's [insert my really easy last name here]". She turns pale and tries to confess that she thought there was an alternate way to pronounce it. "Nice try", I say.

After being on the road with people for reasonable stretches of time, getting your luggage off the carousel at the airport and a singer asking your last name so they can put your number in their phone -- that's happened to me many times.

[sigh] All of this, however, doesn't make me think that they're bad people. They're just so wrapped up in their own shit. Maybe they have to be, I dunno, but I tend to think of it as a team effort.

If you only work with, say, eight to ten people, do you learn their names? Of course you do. It's really not that hard, and it's basic, boilerplate manners. "Hey, [insert name of co-worker here], you dropped your wallet!"....Now what if I'd dropped my wallet a lot? The singers would be unable to help me.

Scope Creep

"I hired you to do 'x', but since you're right next to it, could use also do 'y'? Since you're at 'y', can you also just add 'z' to your list of duties?"

This is what as known as "scope creep" -- simply put, when your scope of work is slowly expanded by your employer or customer incrementally, but without an increase in pay. In some cases, this is a conscious and deliberate attempt to add more value to their expenditure without adding additional cost. It's an unscrupulous and unfair business practice that is increasingly becoming the norm. Stop it, ya cheap bastards --- you know who you are!

I've worked in the corporate world -- I've seen it happen a lot there. But, I see it in music productions, too. In fact, I'm living it right now. I get hired to play the guitar. But, I also sing well. And I know how to run a band, as well as play other instruments, although I don't really advertise any of that, unless I'm specifically asked. It's hard to be in a production for any period of time without that sort of thing getting out, though. If you are also a singer, though, sometimes you open your mouth long enough for something musical to come out. 

Try to avoid that at all costs. 

Unless, of course, you want scope creep to...[ahem]...creep (sorry!) into your work. Now, I'm stuck singing backing vocals on half the show (for no additional pay, natch). Then it's "Oh hey, I figured you wouldn't mind singing lead on this song..."

[Me] "Um....ok..."

"Hey, that sounds great, here's 2 more for you to sing lead on..."

[Me] "Um....ok..."

More pay? Nope. Now, of course, I could say something to the effect of, "Ya know, you're really only paying me to play the guitar, ya cheap bastard!"....There's one problem with that, though: will they remember that the next time they hire a guitarist -- are you someone that provides more value to the client??? Maybe, maybe not. Are you willing to take the risk and lose a plum gig for your principles? 

Principles, schminciples -- I gotta eat!

"Hey, since you know this material better than anyone on the gig, can you be Associate Musical Director?"...that means when anyone else in the cast has questions about the arrangements or the new key or whatever, they can come to me and ask for clarification, etc.

More pay?

Ohhhhhhhh, I think we both know the answer to that....

Tour Season

My touring cycle over the past few years has been typically the first 6 months of the year, and the rest is local/regional gigs. This time of year is when it gets hard, though. Not the gigs themselves, or the material, or the guitar parts. No, I'm talking about being away from my wife and kids. Is it fair to them to perpetually keep myself in a state of arrested development just so I can fulfill a childhood dream?

This is not the life of a normal adult. 

There is safety and comfort in the predictability and rote of a 9-to-5 existence (and its steady paycheck), if you can live with it. Some days I can. Some days I can't. I can't wait to get back out on the road, until I have to actually do it. Then I feel terrible for putting my family through that, especially my wife for having to pull double duty as both parents while I'm away "playing rock star".

The problem is that I've been headed on this course since I was a kid. I've prepared for it as best I could. Truth is, I'm pretty darned good at this. Not the guitar playing (yeah, I'm ok at that), but the readiness to eschew normalcy. It's been my expectation (as well as others expectations of me) as long as I can remember.

The dichotomy of "regular guy with a family and house" and "traveling musician" are hard to reconcile.

I do like waking up in my own bed and having breakfast with my family, cooking dinner in the evening and running around the yard with them in the afternoons. But I also like talking shop with my bandmates, soundchecks, playing shows, and the general camaraderie that goes with a touring production. Your fellow performers become your family, at least for a while.

So, currently, I'm packing my gear (and clothes) while vacillating between eagerness to get out there, and trepidation at leaving my family.

So, what to do?

Let me just pick up this here guitar and play a bit. I'm sure the answer will come soon enough.....or not.

End of The Year

Although I like to think of myself as a practical, pragmatic, all-business type of dude, the reality is that I am not. I am more likely a sensitive, sentimental dope who truly enjoys the holiday season for all of its ridiculousness and "good tidings" yadda yadda yadda.

With that in mind, it IS a good time to reflect on the past year and the many trials, tribulations, and good fortune. I traveled quite a bit this year, mostly for music. I'm grateful to get hired at all as a guitarist, as there are way too many of us. Every time I think that I'm a bad-ass on the guitar, I see someone who makes me look like a beginner. That's a good thing, as it keeps my massive ego in check.

"Massive ego?"

Yeah, I'll admit it. Well, maybe not massive, really, but probably larger than your average bear, I would guess. I think you have to have one, to a certain extent, to get on stage and make silly guitar faces. And what is ego, after all, but an identity of our own construction, an identity which is false. If we take all the beliefs of what we are – beliefs about our personality, talents, and abilities – we have the structure of our ego.

Ok, I nicked that last bit about ego, but hey -- it's true! And many of us as musicians/performers need that reinforcement of our beliefs -- whether real or imagined -- from total strangers in order to feel adequate. <<< [I came up with that myself!]

True or not true?

You decide. In the meantime, I'll be woodshedding all of the guitar parts I need to learn for the next tour in early January. Holy crap I have a lot of parts to learn!


Merry Christmas!

&

Happy New Year!

Defining Success

I remember seeing an interview with Brent Spiner from "Star Trek: The Next Generation" many years ago. He was asked something about his success as an actor, and his response has stuck with me all of these years. He said (paraphrasing), "There are MANY levels of success, not just one or two.". I took that to mean that there is more than just nowhere/somewhere, failure/success, Madison Square Bedroom/Madison Square Garden. Many of us, as young performers, wished for rock stardom (or whatever kind of stardom you happen to wish for). There was only one level of success, in our minds, and that's full-on rock star. Well, I don't need to tell any of you good people that "full-on rock star" doesn't work out for most of us. Despite that, there are...wait for it...many levels of success, if you're willing to accept/embrace them.

The talent pool at my age is really more of a talent puddle. 

As a guy in my 40's, I've watched many of my peers drop out and quit over time. Some were players that might have been able to do something had they stuck it out. But their idea of success was pass/fail, all-or-nothing -- and they never bothered to see the other opportunities that were there, or that ones could be created or cultivated. There are a billion guitar players that are 20. A fraction of those are still out there at 40. The reasons are often legitimate, don't get me wrong -- mortgages, families, car payments, etc. -- and it takes a special kind of determination (or is that stupidity?) to still be out there when you're not a kid anymore.

I'm not ashamed to call myself a rock guitarist -- in fact, I'm proud of it. It cuts a surprisingly wide swath when it comes to playing styles. Think about all of the players that could fall under the "rock" banner: Chuck Berry, Steve Cropper, Eric Clapton, Hendrix, Eddie Van Halen, Andy Summers, Tom Morello, Steve Vai...and on and on. If you're interested in learning enough of those styles, you can get a wider variety of gigs.

A few of my better gigs these days require the knowledge and ability to cover a lot of different types of guitar playing -- everything and anything from vaudeville, Sinatra, 60's girl groups, classic rock, soul/R&B, disco, and hard rock/metal. Many of my friends ask, "Ugh -- how can you play that?!?!". It's not necessarily the playing that's difficult, it's the having to play certain things that you don't like.

I remember the first gig I had where I really didn't like the material. It was a good situation that paid well, but the material was not what I would have preferred, to put it nicely. How do you deal with that? For me, it was fairly simple (in concept, at least):

Find something you like about whatever it is that you're playing.

I've had to play lots of disco over the years...[pauses for the reader's hysterical laughter to subside]....ok, you good now? Got yourself together? May I continue? Thanks.

...yeah, that's right -- disco. "Ok, I gotta find something I like about this stuff...."

It turns out that a lot of the session cats that played that stuff were bad-ass players. I've been lucky to work with a few of them, and they viewed these sessions as merely another day's work. Get past your opinions about the genre as a whole and listen to what some of these guys were doing. There's some great playing there. In other words, "Hey -- there IS something I can like about this stuff!"

Once you can apply that to anything you don't particularly like, your options for gigs can break wide open, if you're willing to embrace that.

So, am I the rock star I dreamed of being as a kid? Nope. Am I discovering that there are many levels of success along the way, particularly ones that keep me playing?  Hell, yeah. They're out there, if you're willing.